Despite stories like Charlie Brown waiting by his mailbox for Valentines that never come (see “Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown“), most elementary school kids experience a utopian flood of “likes” and love that will unlikely ever happen again in life.
In grade school, giving your classmates positive affirmation in the form of a store bought Valentine (sorry, but the kids who give out handmade construction paper ones get made fun of) is mandatory. Even if you got in a fistfight with the class bully on Feb. 13, the next day is all lovey dovey — delivered through the mouths of SpongeBob, Batman, Spider-Man, Justin Bieber and Barbie.
Particularly amusing is the effort to make Valentine’s Day appealing to boys, stripping the holiday of its pinks and reds and sending in an emergency crew of pumped-up World Wrestling Entertainment stars, Angry Birds and the Star Wars gang. What? You didn’t know that a light saber these days is far more romantic than a dozen roses?
Also surprising is the Goth-like turn some of the girls’ cards are taking. It’s tempting to think that the Monster High teen vampires might be after Barbie’s throat, but both doll brands are owned by Mattel.
Just as kitschy are the choices in the grown-up greeting card aisle.
Nothing is more romantic than plumber’s butt jokes, right?
Based on first impressions, which inscription below do you think goes inside the plumber card? The scary one, right?
Wrong. The scarier reference goes inside another Recycled Paper Greetings card with a Valentines-decorated White House. If you’re a Washington lobbyist or just want to be a political namedropper, you can also send the card below to yourself.
So what’s your favorite Valentine’s card memory? While you’re in the supermarket or department store aisle this week, snap a pic of any Valentine’s Day-themed item and send it to us for a chance to win gift cards to H & M, Old Navy, Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts.
Pongr’s Valentine’s Day Photo Contest runs from Feb. 4-17. To get started, click here for contest details!